Home April 2013 Hot Shiksa Goddess

Hot Shiksa Goddess

He is handsome, incredibly intelligent and equally compassionate.  He calls to eat brunch almost every weekend, and on road trips he makes the six-hour car ride seem like a short trip across town.  When you doll up, he makes the comment immediately, making sure you know he’s noticed!  He makes going to the Woodbridge dollar theater a huge production that will keep someone smiling for days.  Not only will he ask you how you are, but follow up to make sure that whatever has happened continues to be positive.  The latke on top, he’s Jewish.  So why are men like this one single?
There is a certain fictitious, mystical, essence that a non-Jewish woman may have.  For many men, it is the “other” that attracts him.  In the case of the previously described and absolutely nonfictional man aforementioned, he claims to have a “hot shiksa goddess.”  This “hot shiksa goddess” is his hair stylist.  He tips her as much as the haircut every time so she’ll favor him.  He continues to rant and rave about her beauty and on occasion articulates his plot to woo her away from her boy friend.  This thin, tattooed, long-blonde-haired woman has become motif in conversations when defining attractive non-Jewish women.
Understand that this is a gross generalization that is continually discussed by women and men alike in the Jewish community.  It is not meant to devalue any beauty, but there continues to be a subgroup of individuals, men and women alike, that avoid dating ethnically looking Jewish people.  But, why are we as a community not finding long, curly haired, ethnically looking Jewish women and men attractive?  Why is this not a cultivated and outwardly sought after type?  More importantly, what consequences might come from this paradigm?
Amy Webb wrote a book called Data, A Love Story.  The book is about finding a mate online, but she does touch on the “shiksa goddess” topic.  In the Times of Israel there is an article entitled “She wanted a Husband, So She Did the Math.”  The author, Nina Stoller-Lindsey, interviewed Webb.  Webb articulates that women with curly hair “are at a distinct disadvantage in online dating.”  In her book, Webb wittily calls it “Cameron Diaz Syndrome,” stating that men are “afflicted.”  During Passover we have bread of affliction; so clearly, as Jews, we understand the term.  Men wish to fall in love with “gorgeous but completely and totally fictional” women.  This is also true for many women who look for non-Jewish men; they are in search of a fit, tall, less hairy version of their fathers (as if these men do not exist within our community).
Scientifically analyzing pictures of women and men online, Webb continues to express the need to blend into the masses.  She reiterates thoughts of easy breezy behavior and associates them with women who are successful at the art of attraction.  In many ways, she encourages blending.
Ultimately, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all cultures possess attractive qualities.  The Jewish community is just as inundated with quality matches that surpass the surface level attraction.  Arguably, “shiksa goddess” seekers or those afflicted by “Cameron Diaz Syndrome” (Sorry, I have not found a term for women who are looking for something outside the Jewish box.) can find someone that fits their personal tastes in or out of the Jewish community.  It seems as if we continually raise our children with esteem, no matter what the exterior, and we will develop strong people.  Beauty cannot be quantified by hair or weight, but by kindness and good.  The reality is that a profound impact of mainstream beauty can actually be a beast if we forget what we really should value.

1 COMMENT

  1. “Beauty cannot be quantified by hair or weight, but by kindness and good.” That’s just something unattractive, confidence lacking people fulfill their minds with to quantify their worth. Finding someone you find attractive and can relate to is no easy task. It can certainly feel like your the only one having difficulty achieving this connection with someone when it seems as though everyone in your circle of friends is married or in route in that direction. We can sit here and criticize marriage and relationships as something not all it’s cracked up to be either. All accounts considered, there is a certain element of resolve you are empowered with when you have someone you love and care about and these feelings are reciprocated. I’m just a little lost on what message you’re trying to convey in this article. Are you lonely? Are you showing concern and remorse for the ugly Jewish community? Is there a togetherness that is being lost as the strive to seek non-Jewish partners becomes more desired?

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